Posted by: frogstale | July 23, 2013

An everlasting flame?


I look for a spark when I meet men – on-line or in person.  I have thought about that spark a lot.  What is the spark?  Is it different for all of us?  Is the spark needed for a lasting and meaningful relationship?

I met up for a second time with a man I met online.  He is a nice guy, but there is still no spark – no rush, no excitement, no anticipation.  I like him and enjoyed his company but I don’t know if this is ‘relationship’ material.  We are going to keep seeing each other though even though it may only be as friends – more friends are always a bonus.

On-line dating is all about an initial attraction  – a prospective date looks at your picture, reads what you have written about yourself and makes an instant decision whether they want to meet you or not. If they like what they see they contact you and you check out whether you have anything to talk about.  On-line dating is designed to look only for the spark.

In 26 years I have felt that spark twice, married both of them and now split up with both of them.  Is that telling me that the spark is just that – a firework that goes off at the beginning but splutters and dies after its initial burst?

Maybe friendship and companionship need to come first. Maybe instead I should look for a tiny light that can be nurtured and fed and which will over time grow and become an everlasting flame.



  1. Relationships can be hard… trust me I know! I’m currently working on a compilation of bad breakup stories. I have found that sometimes women/men going through a breakup are encouraged by reading other breakup stories. It helps them to realize that others have been through it and they are not alone. Visit my blog and leave a breakup story!!!

    • Thanks for your comment – I will certainly have a look. I have two break up stories and both really long and complicated!

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