There is a theory going around that we date people who match us in relative attractiveness. A person rated as 10 out of 10 in looks is more likely to date another person rated as a 10. So too, 5 with 5 and 2 with 2. Of course the relative attractiveness is somewhat subjective, however many studies have shown that within the same culture, we generally tend to rate people at a similar level of attractiveness. Although a recent study has shown there is more consensus amongst men than women as to rating attractiveness.
In real terms it means that, generally (and of course this is a generalisation) attractive women are with good looking men and those people we all think are pretty ordinary looking end up together. There are of course exceptions – like for example the old ugly rich guy – who has some gorgeous model looking woman hanging off his arm. We all know why she is with him!
So if you see some really good looking lady at the nightclub (a cool 9) and you are just your average looking guy (a 5 or 6) your chances are pretty slim! Why is it then that guys always aim so high – and try to reach that unattainable 9 when they really only rate as less than a 5 themselves and just don’t stand a chance?
I have a super good looking, slim, outgoing, lovely girlfriend (10). When we go out together it is like bees to a honeypot -all the men swarm round her. They bypass me (probably a 6/7 when I make the effort and a 5/6 in my trackie pants and hair needs a wash!). And even worst, sometimes a drunk 5 will come up to me and ask me ‘is your friend married? Could you introduce me?’ How bloody insulting – to me – and to her – she is a 10 mate, what on earth would she see in you – a drunken slob of a 5?
I stopped going out dancing with my 10 friend when I became single. It was too depressing to see all the guys pushing me out of the way just to get to her (she is married to a 10 by the way!). I prefer to go out with my other single 6- 8 friends so at least I stand a little bit of a chance of someone coming up to me!
But when I look at the guys profiles on the on-line dating – I don’t wink at the unattainable 9’s and 10’s and I say ‘thanks but not thanks’ to the 3’s and 4’s that contact me (they really are quite ugly and not my type at all – think the long bearded guys in ZZ Top ** or covered in tattoos with holes in their teeth and long lanky hair). Instead I look at the profiles, see if they sound compatible and if they are a 5 – 7 – give it a go!
( For your information Husband #1 was a 9 – and he knew it – and he cheated on me for all our marriage (although I was probably an 8 in my younger days. Husband #2 is like me – scrubs up as a 7 – but needing a wash and shave – only a 5!)
After all, it’s all in the number matching game!
** I don’t want to offend ZZ Top fans or guys with long beards and hair – you just aren’t my type and generally end up with women who like your looks – that just aint me!