I am still dabbling in on-line dating, although it really isn’t going all that well, and I am also going to social groups to widen my circle of friends and meet new people, maybe a new man.
I have always thought it is much harder for women to find ‘a man’ because most men date from a much wider age range than women do. Men will often date someone up to 15 years younger than them, and in fact that is seen as quite a ‘catch’. It is viewed as quite abnormal and is talked about often when a woman becomes a ‘cougar’ and dates a man much younger than her. Look at all the gossip about Demi Moore and her cradle snatching. And that didn’t end too well did it?
My two husbands (yes two!) were both younger than me. First one by nearly five years and second by two and a half years. When Hubbie #1 and I met I was 25 and he was 20, and boy we got some comments. But by the time I left him 21 years later that age difference meant nothing. I have to gloat though, he looks much older than me now!
In this modern world of online dating and the huge numbers of social groups you can find on the net – it seems that age does matter.
You write a profile for on-line dating and the first question after your gender and what gender you are looking for, is your age. It is that important. People choose to talk to you by looking at your age and your photo. In fact on Zoosk you can play this game called ‘carousel’ where the only thing you know about someone is their age and one photo. Then you choose whether you want to meet them or not. How shallow is that.
In social groups, which seem mainly filled with single people, 70 women to every 30 men, the men have their pick. It is not pleasant to be talking to a man who is constantly looking over your shoulder to see if there is someone younger and better looking than you to talk to. They may not actually say that, but you can see it in their eyes.
I don’t think age does matter – once you get to know someone – the trouble is that many men don’t make the effort. And they are the ones missing out. I know that I am an intelligent, well educated, interesting, well traveled, financially independent woman that can offer a man a lot. But not many of them even take the time to find out – I am in my early fifties and I have the start of wrinkles around my neck and need reading glasses. I am a 6/7 at best (see The number matching game) and I can’t compete with a 40 year old 9.
Well it is their loss and my gain, because I don’t want a man in my life who is dazzled by good looking younger women. I want a man who loves me for what and who I am, wrinkles an all.
Does age matter?
- When It Comes To Dating, Do Age Differences Matter? (psychologytoday.com)