Posted by: frogstale | October 27, 2013

I am not alone

I first heard the term Borderline Personality Disorder in July 2009.  I then spent months searching the internet and learning all I could in order to better deal with my ex husband who sounded just like he had BPD.  Eventually I stopped my research and no longer needed help from the online support groups I had joined.

Fast forward to mid 2013 when I started blogging.  That list of ‘related content’ at the bottom sent me on a journey trawling through other blogs and I found site after site of people in similar situations to myself, like One Mom’s Battle on Facebook.

I kept following the breadcrumb trail, hopping from one link to another and discovered so much more information and articles about personality disorders I read some of the articles with my jaw dropping, wondering how the authors had been able to describe my life and my ex with so much accuracy!

The explosion of blogging and the increase of information available about personality disorders has helped me learn more about the issues and shown me that my ‘armchair’ diagnosis of my ex husband is sound.

But more than that, it has given me friends around the world who ‘get it’ and the validation and support in knowing that I am not alone.

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Responses

  1. I am reading all the post and I agree with all your anger and frustrations with your husbands. I had a challenging life taking care of a severely disabled child and chose to ignore my husband’s controlling, narcissistic behavior for many years until I recently unwrapped it from deep down within with therapy.

    There is something I learned is my husband’s behavior is something he learned from childhood from his parents and then brought it to our marriage believing it was normal behavior. It is a culture thing.

    I have been married for 42 years and endured too much pain in so many ways. However, I chose to move out of our bedroom but I am still living in the same house. It certainly opened up his eyes and he is trying to change with therapy as well. I personally do not believe he will change, not after 65 years of this behavior since childhood.

    I have a safe haven in a few placed in the house such as my painting studio and bedroom where he is not allowed to enter unless he chooses to treat me with respect.

    As you know I share my thought and feeling in my paintings and music on my blog and will continue to do so to keep me happy. I am no longer angry because it is a waste of my time and energy. I would rather use it in other ways.

    One thing I do know is I will never let him disrespect me again. I will remind him of his behavior and if he chooses not to listen, then I go to my safe haven where he cannot enter.

    Thank you for your great blog and continue expressing your feelings, you will eventually find a happy place.


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