Posted by: frogstale | November 21, 2013

The irony – and the unsuitability


Do you think this is appropriate for a father to send this to his 16 and 13 year old sons?

Well my ex husband is a ship’s pilot.  He started off working at sea and was away from home for many months.  I had to raise our children by myself for much of the time.  It was tough.

Meanwhile he went up the career ladder and finally made it to ship’s pilot.  A great job, staying at home, lots of time off, good conditions, top money.

But he had cheated on me throughout our marriage with hundreds of women.  I found that out when he got one of them pregnant.

I stood by him and tried to forgive him, as I thought he was a sex addict.  I was probably wrong and it was in fact a personality disorder The cheating stopped at the end but I finally left him when the verbal and emotional abuse became too much for me.

After we split he went wild with all the women he could get his hands on.  I know this for a number of reasons, including my 7 year old son coming home from a visit with his dad and asking me ‘What is mum?   Dad was looking at it and there were pictures of ladies with no clothes on?’

I had a good idea what it might be and when I looked it up I discovered an online site to find people to have sex with.

I also know that he continued to cheat and was unfaithful to his new girlfriend, the one he met less than a month after I left him and is still with 5 years later.

It was ironic then, when he said in one of his nasty emails that ‘you are more interested in spending your money on your many men than doing the right thing by the children.’

This is pure projection as I dated one man after I left him – and he is the man I later married who is now stepfather to my children.

So, the man who cheated on his wife for his whole marriage, who cheats on his new girlfriend and acts in the most innapproiriate sexual manner – sends his two impressionable teenage sons a ‘joke’ like this?  Really?!  He really thinks this is suitable?

There are times when I wonder if my assessment of him having a personality disorder is wrong. I see that his new girlfriend is still with him and speculate that maybe he has changed, is growing up and is a better person with her than he ever was with me.

And then something like this happens I just KNOW he isn’t sane and hasn’t learned a thing.

I try to teach my children right from wrong, morals and values, to have a conscience and to treat their partners with dignity and respect. And their father craps all over it with a’ joke’ like this.

I think only a narcissist or someone with something seriously wrong with them would think that this ‘joke’ is appropriate and not be able to see the sheer irony in it.  What do you think?

Related articles



  1. I nominated your blog for the sisterhood of the world award. Please accept

    • Hi Jude, thank you so much for that. I gladly accept! I have seen those awards before and didn’t know how that happens! Does something happen now? I have seen others where you then nominate other people – is that how it works? Thanks so much again, and for all your attention and likes on my blog. Sorry I can’t help you in your personal situation, other than my online support and knowing that you aren’t alone. FT

      • All you need is check out my blog post and follow what I did. You need to post the pic, answer the questions and send to ten more bloggers. I wasn’t sure if I was going to participate but I figured if anything, it may get me more recognition .

  2. I am a 53 year old male that has been through 10 years or more of N abuse and all I could think of when I read your post was, ” what a dick head”. Sorry to be so blunt, but that’s just what popped into my mind. After several minutes to think, many more descriptive terms come to mind, but I think ” dick head” fits nicely.


    • Hi FS

      Nope not dickhead, that is not enough because he is much more than that. But dickhead is a good start! Thanks for your comment and good luck to you on your journey. FT

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: