Posted by: frogstale | December 19, 2013

Idealization, and trauma bonding

Abuse is insidious.

Those who haven’t been abused always ask the same questions.

Why did you stay?

What did you see in him?

Couldn’t you see he was abusing you?

or even ‘why don’t you get  over it?  It wasn’t that bad’

The implication always being that it is something WE DID WRONG.

We didn’t do anything wrong – we fell in love with a mask, a falsehood, a Dr Jeckyll. It is only when the mask slipped ocasionally that we got glimpses of the real person – but we didn’t know what was real and what was false until too late.

Deliberate Donkey

I’m a thinker. I’m analytical. I look at all aspects of any given topic before forming my own conclusion. Some might say I think WAY TOO MUCH! But, be that as it may, it’s my own curse and its been invaluable to me. Sometimes, as in the case of my relationship with a Psychopath 2 1/2 years ago, I can think myself into being entirely stupid. The sad thing is, I’m not alone, here..

I can’t think of a relationship where, in the beginning, there weren’t over-the-top butterflies, “I-love-you’s” being thrown around, and “I can’t stop thinking about you”. These are the words we say when in a new, seemingly perfect relationship. We want to spend every waking moment with that person and sometimes, every sleeping moment. We are in a state of euphoria. Cloud 9. Everything is perfect.

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