Life has been quiet on the Narcissistic Ex front recently.
I had to rush overseas with the children for my Dad who is very sick, and thank goodness our new court orders allowed me to do that without seeking permission from the Ex. It was a pain free exercise to arrange the flights and inform him we were going. There was nothing nasty or threatening he could write back when I told him the boy’s Grandfather was dying and we were going over to see him (and it was covered by the orders).
It took him nearly a week to acknowledge my email and express concern for my father.
How different from the emails that normally come back from him immediately he reads them and has something to say to me – like threatening to report something stolen to the police which he had given to his son! (See I Stole a Phone)
We went, we came back, no calls, no emails, no nothing. What peace.
But the peace has been shattered again.
He asked the boys if they wanted to go on a trip interstate with him for a weekend. They say yes. He books flights.
I am not consulted nor informed of anything. I know what is going on only from what the children tell me.
I am thinking to myself ‘how are the boys going to get to the airport?’
I learned my lesson from last time. (See In spite not despite)
Don’t ask, don’t say anything, wait for it to unfold. And I have already decided THIS TIME I will not be manipulated into doing the pickups and drop offs. I will wait to be asked and will do so only if it suits. Maybe he is going to take them? I don’t know, nothing has been said.
So this afternoon I get the first email about this.
The Boys coming to XXX on Saturday march 1st and returning Sunday 2nd march . Son 1 has the itinerary.flying xxxx.they are on girlfriend’s staff travel which is standby so the flights may change slightly. I will let you know which flight they are on when they get confirmed boarding passes.
Let’s use the Narc Decoder (care of One Mom’s Battle) and see what he is really saying ………
- I am not going to tell you the time of the flights and they could be anytime
- I am not going to tell you if I am taking the children or expecting you to take and pick them up from the airport
- I am going to leave it until the last minute to spring it on you and have you on standby ANYTIME
- You shouldn’t have a life of your own – you should be available to ferry the children around at my convenience and when I choose to tell you
- I am not going to give you the respect of using your name on emails nor asking you politely – I am going to just manipulate you into it, knowing that you do everything for the boys and won’t let them get to and from the airport by themselves – there’s no need for me to ask
WELL HE IS WRONG
I am not going to write back and I am going to see how this plays itself out.