The point of the article is that no-one ever just finds themselves accidentally having an affair. It is always a series of steps at which a choice ‘shall I or shan’t I’ is made. Don’t let anyone ever tell you they couldn’t help it, or they didn’t mean to.
There are a lot of comments on the article and if you plough through them some are cheaters justifying their behaviour.
Isn’t it interesting that those who cheated almost always find a way to ‘justify’ it because of something their spouse did to cause it. How many ever look inside themselves? If you get married or in a long term relationship and a spoken or unspoken value is fidelity – then you should be working on the issues of the relationship and get help. If you don’t want to be with your partner – leave. Then find someone else. There is never a justifiable excuse to cheat.
However one thing that the article doesn’t point out is that catching your partner cheating is not just about the infidelity. It is also about the lying and deceit that is involved. You can’t cheat without doing both those as well. In the end the lying and double life is what kills the relationship – because don’t we all go into long term relationships because we trust our partner – and trust is a keystone to a good relationship.
My ex husband used ‘addiction’ as an excuse for his cheating. And I let him, until I realised that his lying and dishonesty was actually an even bigger reason to leave the marriage than being unfaithful.