‘Is this Charlie’s mum?’
‘This is the police, we have your son here, he has been caught with three friends in one of the classrooms at school. You need to come down here and pick him up. He may be charged with Breaking and Entering.’
We all make wrong choices but some have far greater consequences than others.
My Narcissist/Sociopathic ex-husband made wrong choices when he decided not to use condoms when cheating on me. There are twin girls in the world without a father as a consequence of those choices.
Our 13 year old son has also made bad choices. He chose to sneak out of the house at 3am and meet up with a girl and he got found by the police and brought home on that occasion. (See I told you so)
He made another bad choice today.
He chose to go with a some friends into a locked classroom in his old school, one of the friends who I won’t have in my house because he is disrespectful, rude and badly behaved.
He chose to go with him because ‘it would be fun’.
That choice led to him being caught by the police and the possibility of going to Children’s Court and getting a criminal conviction.
Just like his father, he is making wrong choices.
His personality is just like his father’s too and I worry that he has a personality disorder like his Dad.
So how much effect does my upbringing have on him? I have taught him how important it is to tell the truth, that there are always consequences for his choices, what the right choice looks like and to think about how other people will feel with the choices he makes (empathy).
But it seems nature may be winning over nurture.
Is he destined to turn out like his Dad and nothing I do will make any difference?
Is it possible that this will give him a big enough fright that he will now start making the right choices?
Only time will tell.