Posted by: frogstale | July 5, 2014

After divorce: why parents should always show respect to each other

I commented

When I read the title of the post I thought – another person about to preach to me about how co-parenting should be putting the children first and how BOTH parents should make the effort.

I was getting ready to put in a comment about how it is so easy for others to say when they haven’t tried to co-parent with a …….. put in the appropriate word ….. High Conflict Personality, Abuser, Narcissist, Sociopath or plain old jerk.

So I was pleasantly surprised to find someone else who gets it. You are so right Lori and this post is spot on. So many times I feel so sad that the only other person in the world who SHOULD love my kids the same way I do – their father – just isn’t capable of doing the right thing for them. That I can never go to him with my concerns or issues about our sons, or even to share the joy and pride in things they have done well. I feel a little sad for me, but as you put it so well, I feel most sad for the kids.

To have their parents in a war, and never to be able to see them in solidarity for them, and having to tip toe around what they say to each parent (although hopefully not me so much) in case they upset them talking about the other parent is so awful to see. These poor kids are battling the minefield between two enemy camps and it must affect them so badly.

But what can we do? Nothing. If the other parent can’t, or won’t, cooperate or co-parent, we have no choice. We can just try and reduce the mines in the minefield, hope the kids don’t get blow up, and do our best so we can walk away with our heads held high.

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