Posted by: frogstale | July 14, 2014

Dad of the Year – Part 2

I wrote a while ago about how Narcissists, or those with personality disorders, like to play ‘Dad of the Year’.

They like to look good for the ‘audience’ which may be their family, new girlfriend, or just to make themselves feel better because they think they are doing something great for their kids.

There is no real love or feeling.  If there were, all the game playing, manipulation and revenge tactics played out against their ex (me) at the expense of the children, would not occur.

Someone who truly loves and cares for their children tries hard to put all the hatred and conflict aside FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN.  They don’t use the children as pawns in their complex chess game designed to  make their ex squirm.

James had told the world he had bought our eldest son Jack, a car.  Just like the other iceberg truths , there really was very little truth to that.  He did buy a car (truth), but it was for himself.  One of his many residences is over 40 minutes drive away from us but he is only there one weekend every couple of months at most.  His girlfriend’s daughter lives there all the time and the car was for my son and her to share when James wasn’t staying there.  But ….. the car had to stay at his house.

So, if Jack wants to use it he has to walk to the train station here, travel for 40 minutes, then walk another 10 minutes to pick it up. He would probably want to drive back in our direction to actually go anywhere and then drive it back and reverse the journey home again.  Yeah right.  Not happening!

It turns out that because the daughter doesn’t have anyone to teach her to drive (she is 17 and lives in the City by herself while her mother gallivants around the country with my ex) so she got a motorbike instead.

When you pass your driving test you can have the car Jack.  All you need to do is pick me up at the airport when I stay here and drop me back at the end.  I’ll just use the car when I am here and you can keep it at your place the rest of the time.  Would you like that?

Luckily Jack has learned a lot about his Dad, and like me he knows that you can’t believe nor trust anything that his Dad says. Both he and I won’t believe it’s gonna happen until that car is sitting outside our house and the keys are on Jack’s keyring.

Well, reluctantly Jack phoned his Dad a month ago and told him he had passed his driving test.  He was scared to ask his Dad about the car, but I suggested he should at least get an idea if he might get it so that we could make alternate arrangements his Dad had changed his mind.

‘Sorry Jack, you can’t have the car at the moment, it needs to stay at the house while there are renovations happening and keep the car space for the builders. I’m not sure when you’ll be able to have it.’

WHAT!  James loves making up excuses and lies that make no sense and leave you going ‘duh’!

Whatever pathetic excuse he has come up with, Jack isn’t getting the car.  And probably never will.

Just another day with a lying, pathetic narcissist ex who plays Dad of the Year but forgets that his real audience is his two sons, one of whom can now see right through the act.


  1. So familiar…in our case, dad’s “phone alarm” broke, so he forgot to take the kids to a church function that he had lured them to his house with. The lies and excuses are pathetic…and my little ones are catching on, though the 8 year old tries to defend his dad…he is seeing the truth.

    • They do it all the time don’t they. And it hardly ever makes any sense. My 17 year old totally gets it but the 14 year old, like your son, tries to defend his dad too. I know he does see it to some extent but he still feels the need to make excuses for his dad. It is easier when they finally ‘get it’ too.

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